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December 17, 2003 - 23:00 |
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Dragged Along
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Things don't happen to me, they happen around me and I am pulled up in the whirlwind that is anothers life. I don't live, but I breathe. I hang precariously close to that edge. Not yet living, but somehow still alive.
There are moments when I think to myself that you must want to say goodbye. One less thing outside of me that helps to pull me along. One less influence upon the tides of my existance. I'm not sure though, never can be, because you never say. You wait in indecision based on fear.
Fear. How it rules so many lives. I try not to let it get me anymore. I've come a long way, but you. I know you fear too much. I see it in your worries...You let so much fear drive your life and you give it other names.
I hate the silence and the way it seems that you want to make that silence be. This is why I think you want to say goodbye without saying it. You voice your doubts in such a way to try and make them mine. Then there is the silence. I don't know. I probably have it all wrong. I do that so often.
Just dragged along, not living, but mearly alive. Sometimes I wonder though, if you are doing just the same....Are you?
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